persona
When I was a wee little creature in my early days online (early '00s), it was common practice to have a -sona , a kind of internet alter ego. (Back then, we were sworn to secrecy re: our real (legal) names, locations, and what we looked like.) I tried on a variety of personas, including SilerWynd (a fairy), Muffinz (???), and Neva (white tiger fursona), but none of them ever really stuck - until one of my "IRL" friends, Moriel, started calling me "Meep" in 2003.
"Meep's" design was, basically, me, but with pointy ears, one blue/gray eye and one brown eye and, occasionally, detached floating chibi angel wings and/or a fox tail, although she|I lost the tail pretty quickly. The earliest art of "Meep" that I could find (2004) is on your left; the lineart was by my friend Baz ; I colored it. Meep was always drawn with her dæmon , frequently depicted as a butterfly or a funny little cat-weasel creature with a fox tail.
Meep started as a fourth-wall breaking character/commentator in "the arepee," a sprawling AIM-based 1x1 game I played with my friend Baz from 2004-2007 - basically the entire time I was in high school. (You can see the "Meep" and "Baz" characters on the side, documenting (and providing snarky commentary on) the plot in this 2005 drawing by Baz .)
Over time, the lines between "me" and "Meep" began to blur; "the arepee" ended and I started using "Meep" offline in friend and fandom spaces. Meep's design continued to change with me: when I cut my hair , her hair got shorter, too. I drew her in my actual clothes. (I still have those patched-up jeans somewhere in my mom's basement and I don't know why early art of Meep doesn't always include her|my glasses.)
art by me (2007)
In undergrad, I wasn't willing to admit that, yeah, Meep is my real name. My friend Æsa wrote Meep on one of my petri dishes in a lab class, and I grumpily snatched it out of her hands, said, "I have a real name, you know," and, without thinking, wrote Meep again. When assigned to create an avatar/self portrait, I drew Meep: wings, dæmon, pointy ears and all . (I'm not otherkin and I don't experience phantom tail syndrome but those traits served, for awhile, to differentiate between online and in-person "Meep.")
photo by me (2018?) from my apartment in Tokyo, Edogawa-ku
By 2018, I was known online exclusively as "Meep" and, because I needed a name under which to self-publish my first poetry collection , I chose "Matsushima," the neighborhood of Edogawa-ku, Tokyo where I was living at the time because I liked the alliteration. When I started publishing my poetry and short stories, I stuck with the name "Meep Matsushima " and the blurring/overlap between "Meep" and "me" was complete. My friends and chosen family all call me "Meep."
Meep also shows up in my paracosm, the rainy city as my parame.
This page was inspired by Vega & Zhael: a history .